Gaps and God's Grace

Gaps and God's Grace 

And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord. (‭Luke‬ ‭1‬:‭45‬ KJV)

I seriously can't wait to be seasoned! I'm already mature, but  I'm talking about that Christine Caine, Pricilla Shier, Heather Lindsey and Sarah Jakes level. Fearless woman of God. They're leaders, wives, business owners and pastors. So I've been reflecting on how the now Kiera Danielle Ford is (gap) and how the future Kiera Danielle____ would be.

 I had a conversation with God and asked him "what's in the gap? How can I walk through the gap?" So the gap is God's grace( The Holy Spirit) and God's timing. I've became different in the year 2014. I didn't even realize I started to walk in the gap. I just became intensional and obedient. I no longer feared what would happen once I started to open my mouth and share my testimony. I was no longer afraid of being just the funny girl. There was a whole lot more of Kiera than just the ratchet Kiki. 

Kiera was getting seasoned. While in the midst of being seasoned, I learned to enjoy the season I'm in. I love to be focused and work on my future. But I just want to laugh in the present sometimes. And God told me that's ok. Because the now Kiera sleeps in a hot pink zebra print bed room. I LOVE being girly and having a very feminine room. But one day I'll be married and I'm 200% sure my husband would not like a Zebra hot pink bedroom lol :)  The now Kiera likes to not do her hair when she's home. I walk around with an Afro and I am proud of ✊ it. The present kiera is already being used now. So often we think that being a vessel is something that we achieve. We are graced to be vessels where ever we are in life, all you have to be is willing!

So I'm saying all of this just to say that walking in the gap is an amazing process. But certain parts of the process are only seasonal, so find the beauty in it and enjoy it! Since your walking on grace you barely realize that God is helping you lay down your life foundation brick by brick. When you walk with Christ everything becomes second nature. The gap is a learning process covered in grace so you will make mistakes but you can continue on the right path because grace lifts us up and sets us right. 

Condemnation in the gap

Don't let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. (You have the right and freedom to not claim negative things people say about you even if it's true. When Jesus died on the cross you became a princess an air to the throne. Any name less than that, feel free to rebuke it.) Ive  had people close to me say hurtful things to me. Like I'm not going to be a good mom and wife because I can't cook.And my husband is going to leave me because I don't like to clean.

People judge you on what appears in front of them now. But what they don't know is that your being transformed. What they don't know that on my worse days God's grace covered me into Christ image. And the fact that God has his hands on you means you are valuable right where you are. Feel broken? Jesus stands in the gap to make you whole. Feel like the proverbs 31 woman is so far from who you are? Jesus stands in the gap to get you there.His grace is enough! It's sufficient. God is the God of the impossible. He lets people see the gap between where you are and where God says your going to be, just so he can show his glory when you get through. When you're in that middle place you may be scared, you may feel weak, you may feel lost, you may feel lonely BUT TAKE HEART because JESUS is in the GAP! TAKE HEART because Jesus won it all for you so you can jump freely!There's always suffering before the glory. But he finish what he starts. Jesus is standing in the gap for you, so rest beloved. Stop trying to play tag with your destiny.

So here's to walking in to gap and enjoying every moment of it. Man life with Jesus is GOOD ☺️

Your shell is selfish

Your shell is selfish 

This fact about my self may shock everyone who knows me. I am an Introvert and not an extrovert. Introverts recharge by themselves where as extrovert recharge by hanging around other people. People automatically assume I'm and extrovert because I'm very bubbly and energetic. But there's this part of me that always wants to just lock myself up in a room and don't be bothered with anyone. 

If you seen me be upbeat while I'm out and hanging with a group of friends, that's because I more than likely had a great nap, an hour or so to myself and more importantly quite time with God. Most of the time I go and hide in God. When I feel like my heart is broken I run to him and burry myself in his love. I NEED that time away with God if I don't have it I am an emotional mess. When I talk to him and lay my cares before him my anxious heart calms in his beautiful presence. God rebuilds me and restores me. He reminds me of the value I have in him. And then he tells me to GO! Go back and love those who have hurt you. Learn to forgive and open yourself up to be a blessing to people. Love, love, love and serve people. And by the end of my conversation with God I always feel better. So I obey and get up and go. But there are times when I play games. 

Sometimes I choose to try and nurse my own wounds. While I'm trying to nurse my wounds I build myself a shell while I "heal". While I'm "healing" I literally don't talk to anyone. If you ask me how I'm doing I will smile and say I'll be fine. But I won't go into details. You see the longer you try to put band aids on deep wounds the deeper you go into your own pain and the further you hide in your shell. Two of my closest friends have figured me out. They always know when I'm going through something. My best friend says "how you been? Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope everything is ok. Side note: I know your depressed about something. Let me know when you want to talk." My other friend would just send me convicting/encouraging messages all day until I finally call her and tell her what's up. God will place people in your life that you cannot fool. They will see right through your shell and call you out on it. You need those people. Thank God for them they really are a blessing.

God sees through every wall and shell that we attempt to build. Not only does he see them he will come inside and get you. There is no such thing as ignoring him. If he wants to get a message to you HE WILL! The Holy Spirit will invade and save you! I remember one time when I was trying to build a shell and hide in it. I barely was talking to my friends and I didn't have quite time with Jesus. I was having a pity party of one. So one of my fav things to do by myself is to watch a sad movie or chick flick. I was watching a new movie called "Beyond the Lights" ( such a great movie btw). There was this one dramatic moment where this song called " fly before you fall". The lyrics go like this: 

" your a tower of strength when your breaking down ,but through the walls I can hear your cry. And when it's silent your screaming inside. And I break cause I hear you loud as a bomb wanting a shoulder to cry on. I hear you tumbling fast. Hear and now, you're afraid. Don't you worry I'll teach you to fly before you fall away." 

I paused the movie. As tears rolled down my face. God spoke to me so clearly through those lyrics. He said 

" kiera I know your hurting even when you don't tell me. Your screaming on the inside but you won't let anyone help you and you won't allow me to do it. Your dying in this shell. Your shell is not protecting you its stealing from you. It's taking your joy and blocking blessings. I said you are a city on the hill not a secret to be kept! Why are you hiding out in the valley when your life should be a display for all to see my glory? You are being selfish! When you hide away like that, your not sharing the gospel. They are people out there who need you to be a vessel. They need to hear your testimony so that they know they can make it too! Stop hiding the gifts I gave you. Why do you question your talent? Do you not trust the works of my Holy hands? Come out of your shell because I'm about to break these walls anyway." 

I know life is hard. Having an guarded but open heart is not easy to acquire. I know it hurts to feel like you've been walked on by people. I know there's that annoying voice inside of your head telling you you're not talented enough and that no one wants to hear what you have to say. Fight the urge to hide. God equips you with courage to step out. Pray and ask him for it.So just trust that he has your back, he has your heart and he will protect you.

So what gifts God has given you that your being selfish with? Hiding doesn't mean you'll never get hurt again. What you're missing out on is greater than, what you're trying to protect yourself from.Get out of your shell and enjoy an open life with Jesus, it's what he died for.

The Frustation of God's Grip

The Frustration of God's Grip

Have you ever felt stuck? Felt like your in between a rock and a hard place? Well I'm going to be very honest here. I've felt this way for practically my entire life. 

In every season the limitations of what I can and cannot do looked different. When I was younger I wasn't allowed to hang out with my friends at certain places.I wasn't allowed to watch certain TV shows etc. I always looked at everyone else and said "that's not fair how come I can't do that?" At an earlier age I asked my parents that question. But now as an adult I ask God those questions. I realized that, that was just Gods way of guarding my heart, my soul and my mind. I avoided the heartache of a lot of things because God said NO! I realized my parents wasn't being mean, they were protecting me on God's behalf. I am forever grateful for that protection.

Now as a 20 year old young woman I still find God's protection FRUSTRATING!!!!!! I get angry sometimes because I can't put on a tight dress and some heels, get drunk and go to a popping club and twerk on a guy! I get irritated because I just can't date any guy who wants to ask me out. I get a little salty when I always have to be the bigger person and love when it's not deserved.I'm aggravated because I can't just lay down and be depressed. Something in me just won't die. It won't let me roll over and play dead. No matter how badly I want to throw in the towel and quit.  In this season I've had these moments quite often. I'm in a season where I'm just trusting God. I don't see anything that he has promised. Sometimes I wish I didn't hear his voice. It is not an easy thing to be chosen. It's not easy saying yes to God's will. But deep down in my soul I know it's WORTH IT!

When I feel like giving up I literally cry out and yell at God. I cried 

"Jesus help me. I don't know what to do. I'm hurting so bad God. Please make it stop. Don't you see I'm miserable? I feel stuck. I feel trapped! I feel used and abused.I'm only 20 I shouldn't be this stressed!!!! Why me God???? WHY?!"

"Because I have CHOSEN YOU MY BELOVED! Yes I see you. I know your heart is broken. I see every tear you cry! But you know what else I see? I see a strong pastor of a church one day. I see a devoted, gracious wife. I see a loving patient mother. I see an successful author. I see a woman who is on fire for me. That woman is the person I'm crafting you to be! I have to break you and remold you. It's not going to be fun, but trust that it's all going to be worth it. And I'll get all the glory for it. You're not stuck sweetie. I don't want you to move from this training ground. What you feel is my loving tight grip! Your my seed and underground I'm watering you. So when you burst out and I will unveil you, you will bare fruit for my kingdom. I love you to much to let you go. This is only for a season. Better days are coming princess. Trust me."

So I Kiera Danielle Ford give Jesus Christ my savior, permission to do whatever you want to do in me. I won't quit no matter what I may look like to people! No matter how I feel I will wait upon You God! I've wrestled with God a lot this season! I've told him to let me go. But he loved me enough to squeeze me tighter. I've felt condemned because I told Jesus to leave me alone. I've felt bad because I was fighting with him. But I immediately starting praising him because his hand was still on me when I wasn't worthy of his hand. The best realization about wrestling with God is that his hands are on you the whole time and he always wins!

Embrace God's grip on your life. It's confirmation that you are special! That you are chosen for a divine purpose! Surrendering to God doesn't mean giving up it means, your being saved up for better.

Seasonal Blessings( the truth about forever)

Seasonal blessings 

(The truth about forever)

I haven't always been good at letting certain things go. And I'm not talking about hoarding negative emotions and bad experiences . I struggled to let go of a good season when God said the time was up. I was afraid that  there wasn't better for me out there. I had a habit of my really relying on people and giving them things that I should of gave to God for him to handle. God had to teach me that I should only hold him that closely. I had to learn how to transition in different seasons.And in every season and transition HE was faithful.God is eternity.

God gives us things and people for only a season sometimes.When that job or person time is up we tend to mourn.

Everything in our life is borrowed. God lends us people. We don't even belong to our parents. Their temporally in charge of us. God gives them the responsibility to raise us in the way that he allows us to be raised. 

Your parents don't support what GOD is telling you to do? Ok say "thanks for your opinion. Love you." And you go back to your heavenly fathers business. Because at the end of the day he's the only approval we need.We are children of the almighty king. He's the only guaranteed thing in our lives. His love is the promise that can't be broken. His way is the right way.He's the only faithful thing in every season. the only thing without a time limit because he created time.

We tend to carry old things that expired into our new season. Then we tell god " lord I'm feeling heavy, over worked, tired and burdened." Duh!!! That's because your carrying  things that we don't need in that season. That's like you carrying your winter coat in the summer. Yes the winter coat was a blessing. It kept you warm. It protected you from the rain. It allowed you to move and go out in the winter. But now it's summer. You no longer need it. God promised you that you will make it through not the coat.  

Let go of old things that are holding you back. Don't cry on a shut door that God put chains on. If you lift your head you can see God standing in front of an open door waiting for you to walk through. It's not healthy to clutch on to people or things. When we refuse to let things go we're refusing to trust God. The things, dreams and people you love are the safest in God's hand. Why wouldn't you want the one you love the most to be in charge of the things you love? God is Lord! He is the boss! Surrender everything to him and allow him to do whatever he wants to do with it! And trust that whatever he does is for your best interest!

Eternity lies in ONLY his hands. Not your husbands hand, not your parents hands, not your best friends hands.You can't put forever on anything but Gods love. Let it go.

Reserved heart

God has reserved us for someone special. A person that is uniquely created to compliment you. Not just anyone can come into your life and just bag you up. They have to go to the one who knows you best. The one that created you inside and out. 

God has the master key to your heart. He is the super. He does the cleaning in your heart. He adds and takes away what's needed. He repairs what's broken. He gives out keys to renters. He allows other people he blesses you with into apartments of your heart, but he's the one that runs the whole building. Does God have the master key to your heart or is he just your supply closet? You take out what you think you need and just close the door shut. God is not only the protecter of your heart, he's also the Gardner of your hearts desires. The Holy Spirit came so he can guide and lead us.And he wants to lead you in your love life. 

How many times are you going to wreck your own heart by you being the controller? Saying that it's good practice to date just anyone so you can learn what to do and what not to do when your married, is just as silly as saying  I'm going to do crack so I can learn why it's not good for me. 

Your heart is reserved! Not anyone can just take it. But some of you are acting like your heart and body is general admissions. You will find your self picking up ugly things in your heart if you don't guard it. You will fall flat on your face, drown in your desperate tears with out God.Let God take control. He gives you the best. It will be so worth it.

How God sees us #confidence

Confidence 

When you look in the world for answers to anything, you will always find your self more confused. There's something really special about walking in confidence. Knowing that your not anything less than what God created you to be. 

"I will feel better when..."

You won't get more confident when the weight comes off, when you get a man or that new job. When those things happen you will just find something else to be insecure about. Or you will miss your blessing because you're to insecure to see it. Get to the root of the issue and bring it to God! 

Your flaws have purpose 

You should look at your flaws as open room for God's grace. A Confident person is a flawed human being that knows that they are covered in grace, and realizing that they will be nothing with out it. That's having confidence. Saying that yes I'm not perfect but I'm still great! I'm not perfect but Jesus still died for me. God will use those areas in our lives that we struggle with for his glory. People will look at your life and say " she's a hot mess how did she make it?" "She didn't go to an Ivy League school, how she got that job?"And the answer will always be GOD'S GRACE!!! Embrace what makes you, You. 

God is a great creator 

We gaze at the sky, stars, moon, the beautiful ocean and the bright sun and are in awe of its beauty. But we stare in the mirror in disgust with ourselves. As if we weren't created by the same God.The same powerful hands that created the beautiful earth created you. We question God's power as a creator when we look down on ourselves. God says in the bible that we are fearfully, wonderfully made. He doesn't say that about anything else other than the amazing people he created. We are God's prize possession. In his eyes we are more beautiful than the sun he created. I challenge you to see your self how God sees you. Not how the world sees you, or those lies the enemy tries to tell you. Go to your loving Heavenly Father for answers on your beauty and value. I did and this is what he told me:

"Kiera you are loved. You are beautiful! I sent my son to die because you are worth loving. You are worth dying and fighting for!You're a leader.You're vibrant, smart and you make me laugh. You're everything I created you to be. I'm proud of the gift I made. And you should be to. " -God

x

Bitterness has to GO!

Lately I've been noticing things about my self. I have not been taking criticism well. I've been real antisocial. I haven't been in the mood to be around people. Every little thing that people did or said caused me to cry or get angry. I was ignoring the root of all these things. Truth is Ive been bitter.

I thought bitterness looked differently than how it affected me. I thought bitter meant being sad and being scared to love and trust people. Which is true. I realized the hurt that I have clustered in my heart caused me not to serve the people in my life. Not serving is not loving. Being selfish and inconsiderate is not loving. Not giving people grace because they made a mistake and trying to teach them a lesson is not trusting God to be your source of justice and your defender. You cannot love with bitterness. You can not trust with bitterness. And you cannot grow with bitterness.

Bitterness has blocked lessons that people that love me have been trying to teach me. Instead of listening I just got defensive. Bitterness gave birth to a scared heart that put up walls the size of Jericho. Imagine if the people of Jericho showed up on day seven bitter and angry at God because the walls didn't fall down the the first 6 days. The walls would have never fell at all if they were bitter on day 7. Bitterness blocks us from a lot of blessings. The areas that we are bitter in we should overflow that area with praise. Praise causes walls to come down not salty attitudes. Bitterness not only builds walls it also opens doors. It opens walls to whatever lies the enemy wants to tell you. "Oh they don't love you, your just being used." "They don't care about you why should you care about them?" Bitterness robbed me of peace in my heart. It brought in jealousy because it blinded me of God's faithfulness in my own life.

Today I choose to be set free from this.God I pray that you crumble that door. That the door of bitterness will fall down just like the walls of Jericho. Deliver me from anxiety and anger. Lord mold my heart so it can look just like yours. Bitterness I'm done with you. Goodbye for life you joy stealer. You're not welcomed here again. I am covered and filled with God's grace so that I can give it when needed. So I can love without limits.so I can dream without fear. So I can walk like Jesus.God I'm sorry for being angry with you or anyone else. Today I'm personally going to apologize to people that I hurt out of my bitterness. You can't love the people God has called you to love and serve with bitter hearts. Let it go and be set free.